


That Ratio

by Amethystina



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Cougar's Ode to Jensen's Hot Bod, M/M, Pining, There's some sexual imagery there at the end, but nothing too graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:59:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4185963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/pseuds/Amethystina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cougar is <em>fine</em> with being secretly in love with his best friend. For the most part it's easy to ignore the inconvenient feelings and just focus on the good things, but he can't deny that it would be a whole lot easier if Jensen wasn't so distractingly attractive.</p><p>That shoulder-to-hip ratio alone is enough to drive anyone insane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Ratio

**Author's Note:**

> [Patch](http://frayedpatches.tumblr.com/) asked for a ficlet based on [this](http://frayedpatches.tumblr.com/post/107302276798/kryptaria-dat-ratio-these-are-all-very), and I was only too happy to oblige, because DAT RATIO. HOT DAMN. It was fun to write something where Cougar is very aware of his appreciation for JJ's physical characteristics, even if it ended up being about a lot more than just his shoulder-to-hip ratio.

 

One of the things that Cougar found most confusing about Jensen was not his weird habit of hacking in his underwear, his seemingly limitless energy, or even his frankly obscene way of eating a popsicle. No, the thing with Jensen that Cougar found most confusing was that he seemed unable to fully grasp what he was seeing when looking in the mirror.

It wasn't that Jensen had low self-esteem — Cougar had seen him preen and strut around like an idiot more than enough times to know that — but he was still, inarguably, unaware of his own good looks. Maybe it could be attributed to the number of times Jensen got turned down while flirting, but it was difficult to say.

It was such a confusing paradox that Cougar couldn't help spending a lot more time trying to figure it out than was probably recommended. Or healthy. And his conclusions, highly subjective as they were, probably wouldn't be useful in any other capacity than showering Jensen with compliments, which, then again, wasn't exactly a bad thing.

Truth be told, Jensen could need some; as long as one took care not to boost his abnormally large ego too much.

The first thing Cougar decided — unrelated to everything else, like his own long-standing infatuation with his friend and teammate — was that Jensen was attractive. Stupidly attractive. So attractive that Cougar sometimes couldn't quite understand why _he_ was considered one of the biggest catches on the team.

Then again, it became more obvious once you considered the whole package, because Jensen was also quite intense and maybe just a tiny bit unbearable.

Okay, quite a lot.

Cougar had seen it happen more than once. From afar Jensen would catch a lot of eyes and turn several heads, but as soon as he opened his mouth — or they noticed his geeky t-shirts — their interest would diminish considerably. Which Cougar thought was downright insane because Jensen was clearly more interesting than ten normal people combined, despite his many flaws. Jensen's personality was a part of what made him unique and all the more lovable, however annoying he also, by extension, became.

But Cougar was, once again, more than a little partial.

Either way it was apparent that a lot of people allowed Jensen's personality to cloud their judgment.

Their fucking loss.

Because Cougar knew better. He had spent a lot more time subtly observing Jensen's habits, personality traits, and appearance than he would ever want to admit to himself, let alone to someone else. To be fair Cougar did that with most people, because he needed to ascertain whether or not they were threats, but that didn't quite explain why his gaze always — without fail — returned to Jensen. He just couldn't get enough.

And it honestly wasn't just Jensen's looks; it was so much more than that. It was Jensen's smiles, his enthusiasm, and the sheer happiness he spread around him on a daily basis, whether it was appreciated or not. Jensen was brilliant, beautiful, and a genuinely nice person.

So while Cougar appreciated the aesthetics it wasn't the only thing with Jensen that he liked. But his good looks didn't exactly _hurt_.

It was a subject Cougar knew quite a bit about by then.

A lot of it was the usual, unsurprising things. Like finding his blue eyes more than a little adorable, his stupidly long eyelashes annoyingly pretty, and his lips incredibly kissable. Cheekbones, jaw, hair — all of it was worthy of worship. Jensen was all that. Jensen was _gorgeous_. But the things that Cougar appreciated the most were the things that not all people knew, partly because they didn't stick around long enough to notice, or because they just didn't have the opportunity to see Jensen in all his glory.

First of all, Cougar — despite what people might think — didn't mind that Jensen was taller. It was actually something to be quite fond of, since Jensen didn't automatically assume that he was more powerful or authoritative just because he was bigger. If anything he acted like a huge, excited puppy, and there was a certain amount of pleasure to be had in being one of those that Jensen faithfully followed around. The devotion was pure and innocent, in a way that was difficult to resist.

Cougar had never claimed that he didn't like having _his_ ego stroked from time to time.

And, related to the first one was the second: Jensen was strong. Both mentally — which most people wouldn't believe when they looked at him — and physically. Despite his geeky t-shirts, glasses, and carefree smiles, Jensen was a soldier, and a good one at that. He knew how to handle a variety of guns and how to put his well-defined muscles to use, in whatever way it was needed.

Which, inevitably, led to the thing that Cougar might, in the quiet of his own mind, find most distracting, desirable, and likable when it came to Jensen's body. And it wasn't the most obvious like his muscles or his pretty face. No, it was something a bit more subtle than that, because Jensen often wore glaring, colorful t-shirts or bulky military uniforms that distracted from it.

But Cougar had seen it. And once he had it was difficult to _un_ see.

Heck, he had seen Jensen naked, because while on missions out in the jungle you only had so much privacy, and Jensen wasn't the least bit shy. He'd probably forgo dressing in the morning entirely if he could get away with it.

Jensen, quite simply, had one of the most ridiculous shoulder-to-hip ratios Cougar had ever seen in his entire life. Cougar couldn't even count the number of times he had found his gaze sliding along the smooth curve of Jensen's back, from those broad, strong shoulders to his slim, narrow hips. It was just ridiculous that a human being could be shaped in such a fashion and Cougar couldn't, for the life of him, understand why more people weren't throwing themselves at Jensen. They were even _turning him down_ , when Cougar — if ever asked — would probably grab ahold and never let go.

There was certainly a lot to grab ahold of.

And Jensen still didn't seem to understand just how attractive he was. All the flirting, preening, and boasting seemed to be more of an act than actual attempts at getting laid. As if his heart wasn't really in it. Heck, Jensen was more physical and considerate with _Cougar_ than he ever seemed to be with one of his dates.

And Cougar couldn't help lingering. He couldn't help watching Jensen's smiles and bright enthusiasm. He was helplessly attached, and the more he saw the more he wanted. He wanted to know what it would be like to kiss Jensen, or to run his hands along those broad shoulders, feeling Jensen's bare skin against his palms. To see how well his hands fit against the smooth curve of Jensen's hips.

He just wanted to be allowed to touch him.

He actually had already, a number of times, because being the field medic had its benefits.

Still, it had only ever been for medical purposes, because anything else would feel invasive — like taking advantage. As much as Cougar might appreciate Jensen — all parts of him, be they physical or otherwise — he had no right to treat his best friend like something to use for his own enjoyment. A lot of the time Cougar actually felt guilty for how much he wanted Jensen, knowing that Jensen might not feel the same and was completely unaware of Cougar's lingering looks.

Consent had always been important to Cougar, and he would never force his affections or attraction on anyone. It was bad enough that he felt like this in the first place.

The only saving grace was that he was good at hiding his feelings. Cougar knew that he was fully capable of keeping this from Jensen for as long as needed. In a way he wasn't really sure if he had to, but more often than not the signals Jensen were sending were a mix of so many other emotions that it was difficult to make sense of them.

Cougar was, as mentioned, well aware that Jensen was more familiar and cozy with him than any of the girls he flirted with. But he had always been like that, and when almost everything Jensen did had an undercurrent of goofiness it was understandably difficult to pinpoint if there might be something more lurking behind it.

For all his loud, openly displayed emotions Jensen was infuriatingly difficult to read sometimes.

So Cougar did nothing. He kept observing, the longing building more and more, but at the same time he was grateful for what he had. His fondness for Jensen didn't suffer just because he couldn't touch or openly express how much he appreciated and cared for him.

In a way, that probably made him a bit blind to what was really going on.

Because Cougar didn't find it all that weird that Jensen got protective and almost territorial every time Cougar got hurt, insisting on being the one to help him, except the times when it involved something that Jensen wasn't capable of fixing himself.

They were teammates — it was natural to care for each other.

And he didn't find it strange — although he was definitely flattered — to have a standing invitation to come with Jensen when he went to visit his sister and niece. Cougar quite liked the warm, domestic simplicity of it and didn't mind in the least that he was utilized as a babysitter, keeping an eye on both Jensen and Beth, when Jess wanted to get some time to herself.

They were friends, so of course they would meet the family.

He didn't even think it was strange that Jensen often lingered close to him when they went out to bars, since Jensen didn't have a very successful track record anyway and Cougar always listened to Jensen's monologues — unlike the poor women he tried to woo. Jensen just seemed to find that he got more out of Cougar's company than that of women he didn't know.

They were best friends and were comfortable and at ease in each other's presence.

That, however, didn't mean that Jensen didn't know to slink away when he noticed that Cougar might have more interest in someone else. Cougar did it less and less, he could admit, but as in love as he was with Jensen he didn't mind a casual night of sex with a woman every now and then. It was never a matter of her being a substitute — because that would have been rude and unfair both to her and Jensen – but Cougar liked the intimacy. Simple as that.

Cougar was so used to it that he didn't think much of it that night when Jensen gave him a smile and a quick nod before excusing himself from the bar. It had happened more than once before, and Cougar was talking to a lovely woman who had, not so subtly, started hinting at how she wished for the night to end.

Usually Cougar would only have had eyes for her. Usually he wouldn't have been so distracted that he looked away from her.

It was just that it was Cougar's birthday and he knew that Jensen — being the loving, considerate friend that he was — had been so excited to go out that night. He wanted to give Cougar the best birthday he could possibly have, which had included a take-out dinner of Cougar's choice, a surprisingly tasty homemade cake, and as many free drinks as he desired. Granted that knowing when to back off so that Cougar could get laid was possibly also a very good birthday present, but Cougar couldn't help feeling that maybe this wasn't what Jensen wanted.

So he did something he had never actually done before.

Instead of focusing back on the admittedly gorgeous woman who was just dying to take him home, Cougar looked to Jensen instead. He usually didn't, because Jensen was actually surprisingly adept at disappearing into a crowd when he really wanted to, and the woman usually seemed more important.

But, in all honesty, nothing was more important than Jensen.

Which was why Cougar caught sight of Jensen's slumped shoulders and the dejected, _miserable_ look on his face as he slipped out the door. Jensen wasn't trying to hide it, but then again, he probably didn't think anyone was looking either. Because Cougar was usually ignoring Jensen by then.

It had happened more than once before.

Jensen looked like he was dying inside.

And despite whatever Cougar had previously thought, he knew — beyond the shadow of a doubt — that it was his fault.

If it was because he was ignoring his best friend who so selflessly had tried to make his birthday worthwhile, or if it was because Cougar was flirting with a woman and not Jensen, well, that was difficult to tell. But it didn't change the fact that Cougar was the one who had put that sad, heartbroken look on Jensen's face.

Cougar hastily but politely excused himself to the woman he was abandoning, and followed after Jensen. Because no one was more important than Jensen. It might be Cougar's birthday but he would rather sit through hours of Jensen's weird choices in TV-shows or listen to his silly rambles than ever have to see that look on his face again.

Jensen hadn't gone far, walking slowly, slightly hunched, away from the bar.

"Jensen!"

Cougar saw Jensen stiffen for a second, but he turned around all the same. The sadness was gone, replaced by a carefree, deceptively open smile that was cracking just a tiny bit around the edges. Cougar couldn't help wondering just how much effort it had taken — how _painful_ it had to have been — for Jensen to paste it on.

"Hi, Cougs." Jensen would have seemed completely relaxed if it hadn't been for the stiff lines of his shoulders. But Cougar definitely saw the tension there, possibly because he was a tiny bit _too_ intimately acquainted with the way Jensen's shoulders usually looked. "What's up? Do you need more money? If you want more drinks for you and your lady friend you can just run a tab and I'll pay it later whe—"

"No." It came out sharper than Cougar had intended. It was just that his stomach twisted at the thought of Jensen trying so hard to make him happy when it obviously made Jensen _un_ happy. It felt downright heartless to ask Jensen to pay for drinks for a woman who was so blatantly trying to get inside Cougar's pants.

"But it's your birthday and I promised that I would pay—"

"I don't want that."

Jensen recoiled slightly, looking chastised and a tiny bit hurt. Cougar wanted to hit himself for seeming so ungrateful and obviously only making things worse. Now Jensen thought that Cougar was trying to throw his kindness back in his face.

"O... kay," Jensen replied hesitantly, pulling back ever so subtly. "I'm sorry. I just thought... well, I just wanted to... yeah."

Jensen trailed off, looking awkwardly down at his feet. Cougar felt like he had just kicked a puppy. And not just any puppy, but the one he was stupidly in love with and couldn't bear to see unhappy in any way — least of all when he knew that he had caused it.

"I'm grateful. I am." Cougar dared to take a step closer, tentative as it might be. Jensen stayed where he was though, even if he looked a bit confused.

"I thought it would be a nice present," Jensen mumbled dejectedly, making Cougar feel even worse.

"It was. It _is_."

"But you don't want it?" Jensen frowned, clearly not following Cougar's logic.

Cougar wasn't either, to be honest. It _was_ nice of Jensen to want to pay for Cougar's drinks, but what was the fun in that if Jensen himself wasn't there? When it wasn't something they shared? Cougar couldn't do that; not with a clear conscience.

So he shook his head.

"Then what _do_ you want?" Jensen asked.

And wasn't that the million dollar question?

What did Cougar want?

It sure as hell wasn't to return to the no doubt disgruntled woman he had left behind at the bar. But he wasn't sure if he actually dared to ask for what he really wanted, since it would put their friendship at risk.

But, at the same time, unless he was reading the signs wrong, the whole infatuation thing might not be as one-sided as he had first thought. Jensen looked a bit more distraught than he would if there was nothing more than friendship between them.

Still, it was a big gamble.

"Cougs?" Jensen seemed a little worried now, almost pleading.

Cougar looked at him and — before his reason had time to talk some sense into him — he decided.

"There's something I want," he admitted, feeling his heart begin to race. In anticipation or fear, well, it was difficult to determine. Maybe both.

"Yeah? What?" Jensen looked genuinely curious now, possibly because Cougar rarely seemed in want of anything.

If only Jensen knew.

Well, he was no doubt going to find out really soon.

Because Cougar couldn't quite figure out how to express it — words had never been his forté — so instead he stepped closer. And sure, as physical as they were with each other Jensen was usually the one to initiate it, not to mention that it consisted mainly of brief, comforting bumps and brushes rather than standing so close that they were practically touching. This held a completely different meaning, and the tension that suddenly sizzled between them was both thrilling and nerve-wrecking.

But also, in the most unexpected way possible, incredibly soothing.

Because it was undoubtedly mutual.

Jensen's eyes widened and he seemed to freeze, just staring at Cougar in incomprehension when he reached up to cradle Jensen's face in his hands. Pulling Jensen in for a kiss was surprisingly easy, given than Cougar would have thought him too stiff to move. But that was not the case. Jensen almost seemed to fall into it, and the small noise of confusion he let out against Cougar's lips showed that he hadn't been prepared for this at all.

The kiss was short — too short, if you asked Cougar — but it felt better not to tempt fate too much.

Cougar pulled back but didn't lower his hands, if nothing else because Jensen looked a bit unstable on his feet at the moment. Thankfully enough, he seemed more shocked than angry though.

"Uh... happy birthday?" Jensen mumbled, looking almost adorably disoriented.

Cougar felt a smile grow on his lips, even if it was a relatively weak one. He still wasn't sure if he had done the right thing.

"Thank you," he replied, calmly meeting Jensen's gaze. As worried as he was, he had no intention of acting as if he regretted it. That would only hurt Jensen more.

"Are you drunk?" Jensen blurted out.

Cougar frowned, feeling somewhat offended.

"No."

He wasn't the least bit drunk, thank you very much. It would take _a lot_ of alcohol to make Cougar uninhibited enough to suddenly kiss Jensen out of the blue.

That was the kind of idiocy he only committed when he was stone cold sober, apparently.

"Am _I_ drunk?" Jensen was beginning to look alarmingly confused.

"Not that I know of."

Jensen hadn't had time to drink more than two bottles of beer, from what Cougar had seen.

"Oh." Jensen opened his mouth but it took a couple of seconds before he actually said anything. "So... we're both sober and you just kissed me?"

Cougar nodded.

The change that came over Jensen was gradual but definitely welcome. The confused helplessness gave way to something that was more like barely curbed excitement. And awe. Bright, brilliant awe.

"Really?" Jensen's eyes were wide with disbelief, but a grin was spreading as well. He looked positively giddy. "Can I do it again? Because I don't think I was able to appropriately appreciate the depth and—"

Cougar kissed him again, not only to shut up what he knew would be a long, blabbering string of nonsense, but because that was all the proof he needed that Jensen wanted this too. And really, at the moment that was the most important part. Jensen didn't seem to mind.

Then again, the kiss was awesome — deep, searing, and absolutely perfect — so why would he?

Cougar felt a tiny bit stupid when he later realized that his attempts at hiding what he felt had been all too successful, making Jensen believe he wasn't interested. And that all those things — those small, sweet things Jensen did — had always been a sign of Jensen wanting them to be more than friends. With all the cards on the table Cougar could see just how stupid he had been, and he almost felt ashamed to have ever called himself perceptive; this proved that sometimes he was everything but.

Still, it was difficult for Cougar to feel too ashamed when he was being constantly distracted by the stunningly attractive body that he was now allowed to touch. And touch he did.

He couldn't get enough of running his hands across Jensen's bare skin, tracing the dips and curves that he had only ever allowed his gaze to travel along before. His lips usually followed where his fingers had already wandered, tasting and exploring.

Jensen didn't seem to understand Cougar's fascination and reverence whenever he touched him, but he never minded. More often than not it turned him into a whimpering mess, clinging desperately to the twisted sheets and begging for more.

Cougar liked to take his time, and nothing was going to stop him from giving Jensen — all of Jensen — the attention he deserved. To be able to touch and taste every inch of him was something Cougar intended to treasure.

It didn't take long at all for Jensen's gasping moans and soft whimpers to become addicting. Cougar loved drawing them out, one delicious sound at a time, and he took a certain pleasure in rendering Jensen speechless. Whether that happened thanks to the overpowering bliss or because he had already screamed himself hoarse from ecstasy, well, Cougar wasn't picky.

He was also the first to admit that maybe he felt a flare of primitive pleasure at the knowledge that while Jensen was both taller and broader he could be delectably submissive when the occasion called for it. Cougar had never been into power play — and wasn't now either — but there was a certain beauty to having Jensen surrender, pliant and trusting in his hands.

It wasn't the power in itself that was the thing he loved, but the trust.

Jensen trusted him, always eager to both give and receive pleasure, despite the sometimes inconvenient locations and improvised solutions.

Cougar had a very fond memory involving bending Jensen over the table at a safe house during one of their missions, the warmth of Jensen's skin familiar under his hands while the breeze blowing in through the open window cooled his back. Jensen had tried to keep quiet that time — his gasps and moans muffled and half-strangled — and he might even have managed, if Cougar hadn't done his utmost to make him slip up.

But while Cougar had won that round, Jensen had proven to be a formidable opponent a couple of days later. He had dragged Cougar out into the jungle — during that very same mission — and proceeded to give him the best blow job of Cougar's life. Cougar had probably never been so loud or verbal during sex before, and if the rest of the team were unable to look Cougar _or_ Jensen in the eye for three days straight afterwards, well, it was worth it.

Because the beauty of it was that Jensen wasn't afraid of taking, even if he at first glance seemed predisposed to giving. He could be just as bossy, confident, and dominant as Cougar, but also breathtakingly sweet, submissive, and considerate. Nothing was set or decided when it came to any part of their relationship — not the sex and not the everyday routines and habits — and they were masters at adapting to what the other one wanted. That was part of what made it so good. It was never boring and always unpredictable, quite like Jensen himself.

With Jensen it came easily.

With Jensen it was perfect.

And if Cougar still couldn't quite stop staring at the smooth arch of Jensen's back — the way his wide shoulders narrowed into those gorgeous, slim hips — even though he was now allowed to touch, well, who could blame him?

That ratio was insane, and definitely worth worshipping.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was betaed by the wonderful [CarpeDentum](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDentum) and [surgicalstainless](http://archiveofourown.org/users/surgicalstainless) (you are both awesome and I am so lucky to have you)
> 
> And if you want to see the original post on my Tumblr you can find it [HERE](http://amethystinawrites.tumblr.com/post/107325081337/that-ratio).
> 
> Enjoy, my lovelies!


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